I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize