you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
