If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize