Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
