I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Of course I have a pirate flag
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize