So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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