she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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