apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
