Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
