Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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