I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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