I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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