every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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