yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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