Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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