When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
