just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
