So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
