I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
