um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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