I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
