How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
