You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize