i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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