Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
