): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize