That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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