its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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