he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
