Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
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I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
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just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
did you just send me my own nude
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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