I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
