It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
