I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
