Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
