I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
