Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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