It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Too much gin, very little bucket
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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