Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Randomize
