k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
MIDGETS
????
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
