would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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