ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
