how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
