girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
