I just cut my nipple shaving
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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