u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize