Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
