You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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