Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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