Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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