You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
