i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
