how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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