she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
