i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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