just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
