Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
