In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
