this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
