I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
only you would photoshop your dick
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize