Jerry, you need to find god
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
