Only a mothe r could love this liver
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
