Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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